He’s arrogant, the center of attention, get’s angry when someone questions his authority and is boastful. Everyone one in the world knows some one with those characteristics. Even elected officials can be narcissist. A narcissist feels entitled to whatever they want and is touchy. A narcissist has inflated sense of self-importance that covers a very fragile sense of self-esteem. They tend to create a sense of superiority and self-importance to avoid dealing with their fears and insecurities. A narcissist tends to require large amounts of external validation, admiration, and praise. A narcissist is unhappy, has unfounded disappointment with others, is dissatisfied with life and has issues with their day-to-day functioning. A narcissistic person doesn’t realize that anything is wrong. They often blame others for the problems instead of themselves. The most dangerous of narcissist is an elected official that has authority over vast number of people. The symptoms for narcissistic personality disorder are sometimes similar to those of personality disorders like avoidant personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder or antisocial personality disorder.
Other signs you’re dealing with a narcissist:
• Superiority and entitlement.
• Exaggerated need for attention and validation.
• Great need for control.
• Lack of responsibility
• Blaming and deflecting.
• Lack of boundaries.
• Lack of empathy.
• Fear of rejection and ridicule.
• Perceiving everything as a threat.
• Has a high anxiety level.
• An inability to communicate or work as part of a team.
• Takes advantage of others.
• Lack of good grip on reality.
• They steal the ideas of others and pass them off as their own.
• Narcissists are nice only when it helps them.
• Pressures you to do something unethical.
• Lies to get ahead.
• Competes with everyone to be “the best”.
• Trivializing your opinions and needs.
• Denying things that are obvious.
• Name-calling, insults
In a study recently published in “Personality and Individual Difference”, researchers found that narcissism is closely tied to perfectionism, making the narcissist extremely demanding and hypercritical of others. This means the people around them are subject to insults and admonishment for always doing something wrong and never measuring up. Belittling a person makes the narcissist feel big.
Some people become narcissist because they were spoiled from early childhood. They were taught that they are special and that others are there to serve them. A narcissist will carry this believe into adulthood. Their earliest emotional needs were often unmet. They may have never gotten love, support and approval that nourishes true self-worth. Beneath the boasting and arrogance is a very wounded person. Having insight into a narcissist isn’t going to change his behavior and it should never excuse it.
A narcissistic person doesn’t have to be an elected official. They can be your spouse, a co-worker, a relative, a friend or even your pastor. A few things you can do are:
• Set your boundaries. A narcissists will do just enough without it being illegal. The narcissist knows they are doing something illegal. If not, make sure they know it is illegal. They will cross that legal line every time if you let it happen. It’s important to know your legal rights in your workplace. At home let them know you will not tolerate their behavior. Tell them about the consequences of their behavior. Don’t let it be an idle threat. If it is they won’t believe you the next time.
• Ignore what they do as long as it doesn’t hurt others. Talk about the implications of their actions indirectly by discussing the impact the problem has had on the issues. Focus more on solutions than problems.
• Realize that they won’t likely change. Get everything in writing at work. Sometimes you may just have to walk away. Refuse too engage with them. Have a witness when you have too inter act with them in a professional setting. They will also try make you feel guilty about your boundaries, stating they unreasonable and controlling. Realize they are looking for sympathy. If you give in to them they will they will push back every time you confront them.
• Expect them to push back. Once your boundaries are set, the narcissist may come back with their own demands.
• Don’t fall for their charm. A narcissist has a consistent pattern of kindness. The narcissist is very good at attracting admirers. They expect you to return their favors. It’s best to decline when they offer to help you or a family member.
• Don’t accept promises. Once they get what they want, the motivation is gone to fulfill the promise. You will never be able to count on their actions matching their words.
If you are involved in a relationship with a narcissistic person you have to clarify your feelings and determine if your relationship is healthy. The narcissistic person only look out for their on advantage. Don’t be used. Get help if need help to step away from the narcissist.
With a narcissist elected official we have to vote them out of office.
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