Personal finance expert Lynnette Khalfani-Cox wants to help couples achieve financial bliss.

As Valentine’s Day approaches, Khalfani-Cox says even though the holiday is about romance, finances play a role in what happens on Feb. 14.

She says men are often under pressure to come up with a big gift — such as an expensive piece of jewelry.

“I think a lot of times, guys in particular feel the pressure to have something extravagant — something demonstrative. Even though the person might be well-intentioned and might have a good heart, financially it might be a stretch for him or it just might not be practical for his economic reality or the couple’s true financial predicament,” say Khalfani-Cox.

She advises that people address their expectations and talk about financial limitations for the holiday early on.

“If you know that your mate or spouse has a set of expectations, don’t drop that kind of bombshell on them the day of, or the day before because they will naturally be disappointed,” she said.

The discussion about finances should go beyond Valentine’s Day expectations, Khalfani-Cox says.

With that in mind, she says it’s important that couples talk openly about finances and get to know each other’s money personalities.

“Part of what you have to do is get on the same page,” said Khalfani-Cox, who is the co-founder of the free financial advice blog, “AskTheMoneyCoach.com.”

“It’s very common for couples to have what I like to call opposite money personalities. She’s a spender and he’s a saver — or vice versa — or maybe she’s a splurger or impulse buyer and he’s a planner – somebody who does everything methodically, with a set budget. So you have to align those two.”

One way that couples can get on the same page financially is by joining a financial bootcamp together. Khalfani-Cox and a team of six personal finance experts lead a free-online bootcamp called MyMoneyCircles.com.

“You get financial tips and strategies to strengthen your relationship for the long haul,” Khalfani says of the bootcamp.

“It covers everything from how to get out of debt and how to save for a future together. We teach people about how to reach those shared or collective goals.”

The tough economy can take a toll on relationships. To that end, Khalfani-Cox says in times of financial stress, couples should plan together, establish a budget and stick to it and agree to buy only what they really need.

“Couples that tackle money problems together, and take mutual responsibility for solving them, will inevitably find that their overall relationships are better for it,” says Khalfani-Cox.

Studies have shown that many couples admit to hiding purchases from their partners.

“One out of ten couples has ended a relationship due at least in part to financial issues, according to a PayPal survey,” Khalfani-Cox noted.

“And among couples who’ve divorced, about 70 percent cite money problems as a big factor in the breakup. So curb your secret spending habits before you join their ranks.”

Contact staff writer Ayana Jones at (215) 893-5747 or This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .